White coat. Heels.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
