There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
