Apparently you make a good broom.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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