you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
