who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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