Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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