I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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