I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He shit in the fireplace
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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