Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
