Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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