As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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