3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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