Christians are straight up FREAKS
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
