I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
