When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Unless my dick prospects improve this yearโs Halloween costume will include panties with โDTFโ written on them and a push up bra
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