is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
