I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
