i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
