is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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