No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
