Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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