I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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