You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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