It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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