You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
