There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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