How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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