Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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