i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
