No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
