she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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