She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Michael Bay diarrhea
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
