Sry I called you an 8
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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