Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
