Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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