the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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