I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
