he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
