So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize