I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
