That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
