Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
