Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
