I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
