Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
