i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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