we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
