Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
