Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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