I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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