I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
