can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
