Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
