Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
