all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
