Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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