I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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