I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
