bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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