I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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