scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
