Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
