when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
