seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
