??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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