Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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